Arriving at UAB

After my phone call from the Organ Center telling me they had a possible match, we were on a time table. The call came in at 9:35 PM and we were told to be at the hospital by 2:00 AM. I know most people would think that you wouldn't need that much time to arrive but you really do. There are many things at home that need to be done in the event that the surgery does take place like paying bills, last minute packing and taking a shower. But most importantly for me it was making sure my 2 sons would be taken care of until my sister, Jessi arrived from New Jersey. We finally got in the car and headed out. The first stop was the gas station to fill the tank and get a drink. If the surgery is a go, I figured I had until midnight to eat and drink and I was gonna take full advantage of that. Then the next stop was McDonald's to grab a bite to eat because who knew when I would be able to eat again. We arrived at UAB at 1:15 AM. This time we were told to go to the ER and they would take care of getting me admitted. Right away I picked up on the people's sense of urgency which was not there with my other visit. By 2:00 AM I was in my room. Then the flurry of people coming in began. My nurse, the resident doctor for the kidney transplant patients and a couple more medical people. The next thing I know, their giving me a surgery time and I haven't had my blood drawn yet to see if it matches the donor. At 4:00 AM my blood was drawn and I had a 5:30 AM pick up time to head down to surgery. Again the sense of urgency with everyone was very apparent. It took 3 attempts at getting my blood drawn and the IV started but it wasn't bad. One of the attempts did leave a black and purple bruise that lingered for 3 weeks. I arrived in pre OP with the news that my blood work wasn't back yet so there would be a wait until the results came in. Out of the 2 surgeries being done, I was to go first because the other man who was receiving the other kidney had to go to dialysis first before his surgery. They kept calling the lab about every 15 minutes to see if the result was in and finally at about 8:00 AM we found out it was a go and within 5 minutes they were taking me back to the OR. I was introduced to all the team members who were there. The only 2 people who weren't there was the aniesiologist (sp?) and the surgeon and they had been paged. One of my nurses stood there and held my hand and stroked my arm while they were getting everything prepared like putting the leads on my body for the different monitors. She would tell me everything that was going on around me. Everyone was so friendly and warm and I felt completely at ease. The aniesiologist came in and commented that I hadn't received any Vercet yet and their reply was "Look at her, she hasn't needed anything to calm down". He looked at my BP and other monitors and then at me. I gave him a big smile and he asked what was wrong with me, that most people were nervouse wrecks by that point. I told him I had been in good hands and there was no need to be a nervous wreck. He then sat down told me to breathe deep and the next think I know, I'm waking up in a lot of pain thinking that no time at all had past, even though it was about 4 hours. I had the ability to push a button and get Morphene. The problem was my fingers were numb and I couldn't really push the button with some effort but I finally figured a way to do so and voila no more pain. Normally after surgery you are taken to Surgical ICU. I came through surgery so well that I went directly to step down. Apparently there was some concern at first because I wasn't making urine right away. When they rolled me into step down was when I was able to first see my hubby, Bruce. They said as soon as I saw him, my kidney started pumping out urine making up for lost time. I spent less than 16 hours in step down and walked to my regular room. My nurse in step down said that she was amazed how quickly I recovered. People without diabetes didn't recover that quickly and that it was quite amazing that someone with diabetes was able to rebound so quickly. Of course they were pushing the fluids through the IV rather quickly to help the kidney come on board. The first 3 days I had a catheter in so I was really unaware of how well the kidney was doing. More details later.

Home Again

My last post was when I had gotten another call about a kidney. That kidney was a match and on Valentine's Day, I received my new kidney and the gift of life! Praise God. The last 3 weeks has been amazing and I'm doing great. I met 2 friends who also received new kidneys. The 3 of us along with my hubby, hung out together. Whenever one of us had a clinic visit, we all went. Our transplant coordinator knew if he wanted to reach one of us all he had to do was call anyone of the 3. He dubbed us the Three Musketeers. Guy and I got to go home for good yesterday while our friend Anne was hospitalized the day before and remains there for hopefully not too long. I ask that you remember Anne in your prayers. The disease that took out her native kidneys has already attacked her new kidney but the doctors are certain they can stop the progress of this. I will post at a later date some of the details of my last 3 weeks.

I've Gotten Another Call!

Tonight I received another call for a possible kidney. Bruce and I are preparing to take off. After I get in my room at the hospital, they will draw blood and then a series of tests will be performed on my blood and the donor's blood. This takes about 10 hours and the outcome of these tests determines whether or not this kidney will work for me. Stay tuned, it may be awhile before I can post again if all goes well.

Theme Song

Music has always played a very big part in mine and my husband's lives. Besides Stryper and Petra ( I know, I'm dating myself) Third Day was my all time favorite until recently. Casting Crowns has reached Third Day's level with me. This song was sung in our church service when the Katrina victims came to town and has resurfaced on the radio lately and really speaks to me at this stage in my life.

Praise You In This Storm - Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I'll praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Some Milestones

Yesterday was the first time I was allowed to shower instead of a sponge bath. Boy did that feel good! The euphoria over being able to wash my hair carried over to when I had to change my bandaging. I did it without even thinking about what I was doing! It seems it's becoming second nature to me now. The order in which I have to wash my hands to make sure they're clean (palms, backs, nails, cuticlea, thumb, fingers, wrists, backs and palms), setting out the supplies first, ripping some tape off to have it ready, oh and I have to put on a surgical mask also. Seems a little extreme doesn't it? But this prepares you for when you start to uncap your catheter. A new cap must be put on each time you take one off. The head of the Dialysis Center called yesterday and postponed my start of training until Tuesday. That gives me one extra day of maybe a phone call coming in :) Someone recently told me that another person said they couldn't pray for me because they would be praying for someone to die. After my initial shock of actually being told this, I explained that I would never advocate praying for someone to die just so I could get a kidney. My prayer has always been that God would find a match out of the people who had died and make it happen. The number of people who are actually organ donors is pretty low. Some family members have a hard time with giving the OK to use their loved one's organs in their time of grief. Who can't understand that? The first thing our family does when these phone calls have come in is pray for the family who has lost a loved one. Our hearts go out to the unknown family members who are grieving. We pray for peace and comfort to them and that they feel the presence of God's love surrounding them. I can honestly say my thoughts are more with that family than with my situation at that time. My mind can't even grasp that thought of God making that person die so I could get their kidney. It breaks my heart that some people can attribute such actions to our Heavenly Father. Free will decisions of drinking while driving, or taking pills and then driving or even speeding contribute to the opportunity of death. Often times innocent people are affected by another's free will choice.

Reality Check #2

Yesterday was my weekly visit to the Dialysis Center. Usually there aren't any other patients in the waiting area and I don't wait very long before being led back to the treatment area. Yesterday was very different. A woman came in and signed the log in sheet. She appeared to be younger than myself and I felt brave enough to start a conversation with her. I asked how long she had been doing PD (peritoneal dialysis) and she said since March. She then went on to tell me how rough life was for her at the moment. A single mother of a teenage boy and girl, a boyfriend who was cheating on her and she was in the process of stalking him and taking pictures with her cell phone. Trying to veer the conversation away from her boyfriend situation, I asked if she had ever done hemodialysis. She told me they had operated to put the access in for hemo but that it had closed up the day after surgery and PD was the only option available to her. When I asked her if she was on the transplant list, her reply shocked me. She said she was tired of dealing with life and her situation and she wanted to just stop the PD and let nature take it's course and that she had told the doctors she didn't want to go on the list. WOW. After getting her catheter inserted she ran away for 6 months until the doctors finally caught up with her. And here I thought I was bad at putting my head in the sand! My heart broke as she told me that everyday she asks God why He is mad at her. I reassured her that God was not mad at her and had not brought this on her. She wasn't ready to hear that and went up to the receptionist to recount the latest on the boyfriend situation. The comment was made she was gonna get locked up for doing something stupid eventually about this guy. By this time, I'm thinking "Please God, get me back in the treatment area and don't let me be here if she decides to bring a gun!" Her normal appointments are every Thursday and I questioned her why she came every week. Her response again surprised me. She said she doesn't do it right so she had to come weekly. My first thought was, WHY? I don't know what she meant by she wasn't doing it right but surely after almost a year that could've been worked out. When they called me back, my mind was so full of the conversation and hopelessness of her that I walked in without a moment's hesitation, got weighed and sat in my treatment chair and looked up. Caddy corner from me was a person on hemodialysis. The nurses that surrounded that and one other hemodialysis patient were decked out in lab coats that reached the ground and clear plastic visors that remind me of welder masks. At this point my head started to spin but then my nurse, Sandra came in and shut the curtain. I knew God was showing me through all of this of just how good I have it. Never has it come to my mind to ask God why me? I know that in the Garden of Eden when sin entered the world, a dominoe effect was started of things breaking down. Being involved in the charismatic church for awhile was always interesting. I can't tell you how many times I was told that I either didn't have enough faith to be healed or I had sin in my life preventing me from being healed. It didn't seem to matter that I had been healed of some of the effects of diabetes like blindness being the most dramatic. Realization started to set in with me that miracles sometimes come instantenously but sometimes they come over time. I dealt with the blindness for about a year and at one point needed surgery because of my retina starting to detach. What happens with diabetics is that over time they develope new blood vessels in their retinas but they are very weak. These vessels start to leak a fluid before they hemmorage. Laser treatments are given to help sear the new vessels into not hemmoraging. Both of my eyes continously hemmoraged for about 9 months. Eventually the blood will become reabsorbed into the macula but poses the threat of pooling to the point where the weight of the blood detaches your retina. I had gotten to that point and surgery was scheduled. A partner at the law firm I worked at had taken an interest in my situation. He wanted me to get a second opinion before I went ahead with the surgery. Little did I know that he had scheduled this second opinion with the world's greatest eye surgeon who had operated on Sugar Ray Leonard and the head of the U.S.S.R. at the time. Before this second opinion appointment my attitude was one of God you can just take this away from me. The surgery would be performed while I was awake and they would insert a needle into each of my eyes and suction out the blood. Need I say more after the needle part? That was enough to have me kicking and screaming at the thought. Somewhere along the way I realized that God worked miracles through medical science too. That it was no less miraculous to be healed based on knowledge that doctors had. That ultimately God had given that knowledge whether they admitted to it or not. A peace came over me as I realized this and I was ready to go into that operation. It was at that time I had my miraculous, instant healing. When I showed up for my second opinion appointment with copies of all the tests that had been done previously, the team of doctors looked at the records and agreed that surgery was needed but wanted to see how things had progressed since the last set of tests. They dialated my eyes and put on what I call their head gear with a bright light and a hand held super magnifier and they began to look. Medical terminology started flowing excitedly out of these men and I didn't understand a word. But there was an excitement in the air. Finally after 3 doctors looked and conferred they told me that my eyes no longer resembled what the previous tests were showing. My retina was attached with no signs of tearing and the blood was being reabsorbed at an enormous rate. No surgery was needed. Praise God! I still see a retina specialist every year and each time come away with the news that new vessels are no longer growing in my eyes and the specialist doesn't believe I'll have any more issues. Feeling sorry for myself is rarely an issue that I have to deal with. Today I was again reminded of just how blessed I am even if I do have to do dialysis. With God all things are possible.

A Lesson Not Yet Learned

Geez I feel really stupid. Yesterday I wrote about learning to accept people's help. This morning I was in a situation that really did need assistance and I STILL turned it down. Bruce and the kids had gone to my youngest son, Samuel's, gymnastics meet in Georgia last night. I woke up later than usual this morning and was sitting down watching the dog training video. My blood sugar dropped so low that I became very disoriented. When this happens, my brain knows that I need to get sugar but the ability to actually do it is greatly impaired. My vision gets pretty disjointed and it sort of morphs things. I managed to stumble to the refrigerator but couldn't recognize what it was I needed to eat. There was an Arby's bag with half of sub in it and the Arby's hat finally registered in my incoherent mind (I'm thinking Arby's commercial brings new meaning to me now). I grabbed the bag and stumbled to the table and ate what was left of the sub. Still being confused I went back to the refrigerator and tried to find something with sugar. The bottle of Hershey's syrup caught my eye and I was relieved to see we had milk so I emptied what was left of the syrup into a glass of milk. Let me say that I have never truly liked chocolate milk but at this point it wasn't a matter of what I liked or didn't. The phone rang and I answered it. It was my friend who owns Butterbean who was to come for a visit later today calling to say she wasn't feeling well. She picked up immediately that something was terribly wrong with me and offered to come over. I of course refused her help. She questioned me about what was going on and I tried to tell her as best as I could in my condition but I reassured her I was getting better and drinking chocolate milk as we spoke. She told me she was either going to come over or call 911. Well the threat of the 911 call caused me to drink the milk faster but I still didn't want her to come over and help. She told me to hang up the phone, continue eating and call her back in 20 minutes and if I didn't, the ambulance would be called. Threat of an ambulance cut through the fog in my mind and helped to bring me around even more. I called her back to make sure she didn't call 911 and she said that I sounded better but I was still slurring my speech. Why didn't I accept her help of coming over? We kept talking and apparently as we talked she could tell I was improving. At one point she offered to have food sent over and of course I refused again (When am I gonna learn?!?) After one of these insulin shock episodes, 2 things happen. One is that during it the sweat that pours off me literally soaks my clothes and I start shiverring because my body temp has also dropped low. That is part of the body's reaction to shock. The other thing that happens is that I get very sleepy. So my wise friend says "I've been craving Steak Out when do you want it delivered now or later after you've taken a nap?" The issue of not accepting help was hitting me at that moment and I finally agreed to her help. She told me to take a nap and she would order Steak Out for both of us when I woke up. Thank God for people like her who care enough not to take no for an answer and are more stubborn than myself.